Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictitious, mendacious - just dead wrong.

The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any.

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most Americans, yet he manages not only to live there but also to grow trees and cockroaches right on the premises.

In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

Americans like fat books and thin women.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic.

if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke.

When life throws you a curve ball just give up, no need messing around with that off speed shit

It’s always better to sit on your dignity in private than to stand on it in public.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung.

There's actually something interesting about having no rehearsal time - you have to just walk in and go with your gut, which is exciting.

I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.

One of the most beautiful ways you can give is giving of yourself and your time.

There's something uniquely aggravating about the smugness of liberal Hollywood.

My work always presents problems in our society. Those problems may be anything from injustice to freedom, and everything related to humanity.

You can only sleep your way to the middle; you have to claw your way to the top.