Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.

Good memories are like charms...Each is special. You collect them, one by one, until one day you look back and discover they make a long, colorful bracelet.

Your mind creates your reality. If you expect nothing, you open up the universe to give you options. If you expect the worst, you usually get it.

A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night

Some poeple just don't have what it takes to appreciate a cookie.

Oh great. Yoda captured us.

Who, last time I'd checked, was still on our official archenemy list. (Yes, we have to keep a list. It's kind of sad.)

They call me, The Sharkalator

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall.

I don't get a chance to be funny with the thrillers. I like to be funny, and I think I am really funny. So with 'Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life', it was fun to let loose.

I had to give him props, but how annoying of him to be a hero when I was trying so hard to dislike him. It was downright selfish.

I'll always be there for you.I promise to protect and nurture you.Hopefully one day soon, true Autism acceptance will besomething that just is.

I'm lucky that I get to play a wide variety of parts.

When a customer enters my store, forget me. He is king.

... we must read, not only for what we read but for what it makes us think.

For me, appropriate policy means that we continue to reduce accommodation and return to a neutral federal funds rate

If there are fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies on the table, I won't say no to those. Soy sauce is another one, even though it's awful - it's so high in sodium.

I'm an entertainer. Not a journalist or spokesman for anybody. Truth is, a lot of my listeners absolutely hate what I have to say.

Good-looking people turn me off. Myself included.

In tragedy, it's hard to find a good resolution; it's not black and white: it's a big fog of gray.

The best leaders... almost without exception and at every level, are master users of stories and symbols.