All the world loves a good loser.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

The more we can embrace failure, the more we will be able to open to it and the more confident and resilient we will become.

I believe that our vote is both a public duty and a sacred trust.

I don't think I'm tangible to myself.

Science fiction was never my thing. I have no interest in it.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

Everybody should write a book whether you get it published or not because the experience of sort of taking it all and throwing it down on paper is unbelievably cathartic.

If I wasn't a writer, I would be depressed.

I'm hosting a quiz show, but I never considered myself a game show host.

Except for a few small presses, most publishers are north of Ground Zero.

I wrote the tunes. I was the driving force. The rest were quite happy just to go along with things. But it was more of a democracy then.