All I can do is turn a phrase until it catches the light.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

Accepting complete responsibility is the unsung character trait of those who find uncommon success, and failure to accept responsibility is a common trait of those who end up with a mediocre life.

It may sound strange, but I get the inspiration for most of my Dreams while I'm sleeping.

Under normal periods any man's success hinges about five percent on what others do for him and 95 percent on what he does.

In real life there is no such person as the average man.

You women are all the same, if bed's all right, You think everything else can go to the wind. But if there's any infringement of your bed-rights, Then fair is foul and all hell's let loose.

There is nothing wrong where we reach a point where maybe everybody could claim a victory. I think it would be good for the American people, which should be our first priority.

We are always living in the final days. What have you got? A hundred years or much, much less until the end of your world.

Meditation is for you to realise that the deepest nature of your existence is beyond thoughts and emotions, that it is incredibly vast and interconnected with all other beings.

In football, it's the ultimate team sport. You have to have good people around you as a quarterback for things to happen.

The true language of commerce is the natural conversation between human beings.