Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

when god creat the world, first he must think abour architects

If you know what you want, you find the strength to work for its fulfillment.

The teachings of the Saviour

She could feel something unnatural following her every movement as she washed her bountiful Huzza and Wahzoozie" — BATS

Whenever she turned her steep focus to me, I felt the warmth that flowers must feel when they bloom through the snow, under the first concentrated rays of the sun.

God is man idealized.

Passing away" is written on the world and all the world contains.

Creation is ready to serve you, if you just be you.

Europe has never existed. One must genuinely create Europe.

Let the brain go to work, let it meet the heart and you will be able to forgive.