A wealthy man is one who earns $100 a year more than his wife's sister's husband.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Persecution comes from people who are prejudiced.

To use the past, he had to save it from aspects of itself.

Music doth extenuate fears furies appeaseth cruelty abateth heaviness and to such as are wakeful it causeth quiet rest; it cures all irksomeness and heaviness of soul.

don't let jesus in. AA is just one obsession replaced with another

[Jason Hale] is an upstanding guy. Yeah, I like him. He's good.

If we all aim to love ourselves, every bit, we will become love and radiate beauty to all those around us.

I'm having a magenta day. Not just red, but magenta!

It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.

Bind together your spare hours by the cord of some definite purpose.

The effect of life in society is to complicate and confuse our existence, making us forget who we really are by causing us to become obsessed with what we are not.