A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcoholic intake by the smallest degree.

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.

Only a world without love strikes me as instantly and decisively more terrible than one without music.

If you are using an adverb, you have got the verb wrong.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.

Women are really much nicer than men: No wonder we like them.

I'll pour you the first one and after that, if you don't have one, it's your own f****** fault. You know where it is.

The data is clear: If you give a woman an opportunity, she will make a huge difference.

Those who believe in nothing are very, very jealous and angry at those who believe in something.

Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have at this moment.

Not everything that can be extracted appears in anthologies of quotations, in commonplace books, or on the back of Celestial Seasonings boxes. Only certain sorts of extracts become quotations.

The management of fertility is one of the most important functions of adulthood.

I'm terrified of motorcycles. I've been on one a couple of times. I did not like it.

I loved him like a fever. Then he left. He kicked through love like it was dust and he kept on walking.

Counter Girl (in candy shop): You two are cute. Seriously. How long have you been going out? Sam: Six years.

Now DVD can represent more income than the box office - and typically does.

We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.