The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcoholic intake by the smallest degree.

If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.

Only a world without love strikes me as instantly and decisively more terrible than one without music.

If you are using an adverb, you have got the verb wrong.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.

Women are really much nicer than men: No wonder we like them.

I'll pour you the first one and after that, if you don't have one, it's your own f****** fault. You know where it is.

I yearn to make these scars disappearAnd to forget about the past.To throw away all of my fearsAnd to be happy at last.

When I am longing for love, every rose is the expression of my soul.

I, like you, was not depraved or defected before birth but created to be magnificent, a wonderful and freeing realization - simple but explosive.

We'd never expect to understand a piece of music on one listen, but we tend to believe we've read a book after reading it just once.

You can't live someone else's expectations in life. It's a recipe for disaster.

The one sure way to success is to know everything you can about what you do.

What matters most in politics is personality. It's not issues; it's not image. It's who you are and what you represent.

I'd just say you hurt me and you hurt me only because you involved my family. But after that I'd say 'hey draw nearer to your family because that's exactly what I did.'

For visions come not to polluted eyes.

Ne te quaesiveris extra." (Do not seek for things outside of yourself)