Satire Quotes

A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist.

I wouldn't dignify it with the name immoral.

You know what people are doing on the other side of the world, what’s happening on another planet, but not what’s going on inside the person next to you.

Were the stars against him? A woman's fingers are quicker in the sky and shine more brightly.

We put our flags in soil when we arrive, as if it now belongs to us and we know where we are.

The world is indeed a cold, hard stone.

The emotion was the most important thing.

A spirit of satirical frivolity so dominated Britain in the 1960s that one critic feared the country "would sink giggling into the sea.

Everything you’re telling me was just a story, and now it’s real.

Ken steepled his fingers and gazed thoughtfully up at the ceiling. 'Dwarves have done very well for us in primetime.

Not again, Draper, " Frank sighed. "You're not going to stop us from crossing. You and I know that the one thing the Government does even more poorly than provide healthcare is secure its borders.

A leprechaun did not just kill off my car in a hailstorm.

Oh, you’re hardly one to talk. Look where ogling a man got you.

You didn’t make her sue you, even if you did punch her at that wedding.

Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is utterly impossible to parody a Creationist in such a way that someone won't mistake it for the genuine article.

Are you trying to seduce me or trick me?

No one ever said you can’t have world dominance and a little romance too.

It was never just about the money.

She caught you. Therefore she gets your treasure.

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly.

When the conversation turns too quickly to films, I see it as a sign of weakness.

terrorism n.Violence for political purposes or the politically motivated threat of violence which, either intentionally or unintentionally, challenges the state's monopoly on political violence.

conservative n.A person who possesses an underdeveloped taste for tyranny.liberal n.A person who believes in liberty, but only for the state.

preemptive strike n.A blow or punch delivered by military aircraft to a target who is suspected of being adverse to one's plot for world domination.

In Russia, drunks are our kindest people. Our kindest people are also the most drunk.

Back in our apartment, lights out, The Professor emerged from beneath the bed." - from "The Professor Spends the Night, " in issue 4 of Literary Orphans

There is no point in poverty if it does not make a rich man, observing it, feel better.

Where did you find construction guys swapping dirty jokes in proto-Númenorean?” Aura asked.“On construction sites. Is that coffee ready?

A dutiful wife enables a good man to add her hands to his own for self-applause.

It takes a lot of wind to sail a leaky boat.

The past is an educational toy for the present. It should be discarded the moment its usefulness is outgrown.

Marriage is the legal method devised to end love without pain.

What is the secret of life?’ I asked.‘I forget, ’ said Sandra.‘Protein, ’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘‘Yeah, ’ said Sandra, ‘that’s it.

The universe seems to be a lot like a car or a computer, in that it's designed to be user-friendly, which doesn't necessarily require the user to have a clue what's going on under the hood.

Jersey Shore has killed more brain cells than alcohol, cocaine, and meth combined.

Quite possibly the only infinite power in the universe may be the human capacity for self-deception.

Obama's plan for "change": Let's do everything Bush did, only with more suck! Because it just didn't suck badly enough the first time!

F***ing triffids.

There is Irish Spring, but there is no fall soap.

Any fool can start a religion. And many do.

Discretion is a polite word for hypocrisy.Tea Party Teddy

A versifier arranges sounds

So, your god is the only god? Okay, but then, so is my dog.

Almost as a rule, political dissidents were writers.

Satire works best when it hews close to the line between the outlandish and the possible - and as that line continues to grow thinner, the satirist's task becomes ever more difficult.

Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize.