Humour Quotes
Females and boys are the only creatures that propose others for friendship. As for the rest of us, friendship sort of just happens.
Gentlemen do not carry a cane or a hat? No gloves?”“Gentleman may still wear them, but I’m afraid the problem is that there aren’t many left.
Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.
Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?
A firm's income statement may be, likened to a bikini-what it reveals is interesting but what it conceals is vital.
Theory of Evolution (Summary)First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.
We can't all be bakers or chefs. Many of us have modest ambitions. But we can all buy a piece of the pie.
Kurt pick his way around testing for heat before taking each step and avoiding places where the ash was heaps up.
Then I shall bid thee goodnight, my dear. Sweet pixies watch over the dusty moonlight of your dreams, Jessameine.
Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you.”“Because any other female would!
There is a point in the future where even the worst disaster starts to settle into an anecdote.
Linc was so amazed at what he saw and heard, “This is sooo cool. I love this place. This looks way better than a day spotting weird people at Walmart.
The only thing I hate about good people is that they like making their being good people bad people’s problem.
The pleasure or the benefit that the object of our deed derives from it is every now and then greater or even more important than the one we derive from the deed.
Every single good person is a good person for their own sake, not for the sake of humanity, not even for the sake of another human being.
No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person.
It is humanly impossible to be selfless. As a matter of fact, human beings are inherently selfish.
Even while we hate, we still have that deep unusual compassion for our rivals, and they hate it when they realize that we are feeling sorry for them.
Damoder climbed slowly to his feet. 'Buy lot!' he wheedled, 'I am poor man. I sell you cheap. I am bank-Rupert! Apparently the only things that could save him from bank-rupertcy were our dollars.
To do is to be – AristotleTo be or not to be – ShakespeareTo be is to do – Jean-Paul SartreDo be do be do – Frank Sinatra
Prose fills a space, like a liquid poured in from the top, but poetry occupies it, arrays itself in formation, sets up camp and refuses to budge.
The pen is truly mightier than the sword. Unless you're holding a pen and the other guy's holding a sword.
Chasing something external to satisfy the internal is a hollow practice. The only thing you can chase is yourself and you are already here!
If i believe my truth is true and you believe your truth is true, what if my truth says yours is a lie.is it still true?
If you forget who you've become remember who you are
The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affacted by what other people talk or think about it.
A VIP area is nothing without not-so-important people.
The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.
When it comes to your self-esteem, it is best not to value the opinions of deluded psychopaths.
There’s only one person to blame for lack of self confidence
Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.
The good thing about the aristocracy – German or English – was that they were easily traced, Mirabelle thought.
Her hair was pulled back so severely, it would have won approval from the Spanish Inquisition as a method of torture.
Colorful characters are the odd shaped pieces that fill the holes in life's puzzle.
I don´t listen to hoax or rumours, but I like a good sense of humour. If you are wrong, be wise, apologize. Otherwise, be kind and rewind. Gone with the wind...
If there's anything worse in this world than a bad batch of babi guling, it's hindsight.
If you can identify humor in problems then you will have less difficulties in solving them... Most importantly, "you should be able to laugh on yourself".
Correct the blunders on your face made through self-delusion – this would be far more fitting than to want to teach me, which is just as if a sow trying to teach Minerva.
Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich.
I've never been able to grow an organ back, " Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes.
Grandma's house had the atmosphere of a Tupperware box left out in the sun. Like a tropical flower, she had to be kept warm and moist at all times, or she would wilt and die.