Humour Quotes
Your brother was a terrible traitor, I know, but if we start killing men at weddings they’ll be even more frightened of marriage than they are presently.
Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory?
Gentlemen do not carry a cane or a hat? No gloves?”“Gentleman may still wear them, but I’m afraid the problem is that there aren’t many left.
Females and boys are the only creatures that propose others for friendship. As for the rest of us, friendship sort of just happens.
I won’t have you calling me Miss Tuttle. That’s what the doc calls me. And the lady at the bank. One takes my temperature and the other my money. Friends don’t take anything—they give.
The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don’t worry girls, I hit him.
A firm's income statement may be, likened to a bikini-what it reveals is interesting but what it conceals is vital.
Theory of Evolution (Summary)First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.
I’ve been living on the edge for so long, my friends call me Cliff
One of these days, I would doubt the Gardeners a little too much and Zach was going to play handball with my head.
Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.
We can't all be bakers or chefs. Many of us have modest ambitions. But we can all buy a piece of the pie.
She's become a Russian again, he thought. When something works, she's grateful. When it doesn't work, it's life.
Kurt pick his way around testing for heat before taking each step and avoiding places where the ash was heaps up.
Then I shall bid thee goodnight, my dear. Sweet pixies watch over the dusty moonlight of your dreams, Jessameine.
Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you.”“Because any other female would!
There is a point in the future where even the worst disaster starts to settle into an anecdote.
Linc was so amazed at what he saw and heard, “This is sooo cool. I love this place. This looks way better than a day spotting weird people at Walmart.
The only thing I hate about good people is that they like making their being good people bad people’s problem.
The pleasure or the benefit that the object of our deed derives from it is every now and then greater or even more important than the one we derive from the deed.
Every single good person is a good person for their own sake, not for the sake of humanity, not even for the sake of another human being.
No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person.
In some rare cases, a friendship between two people benefits both of them, and what’s more, in some rarer cases, it benefits both of them equally.
If you cannot laugh frequently and genuinely, you have no soul.
Some people are street-smart, some people are book-smart, but most people are just dumber than dirt.
If you have seen darkness, you will appreciate the dawn of light.
There’s only one person to blame for lack of self confidence
When it comes to your self-esteem, it is best not to value the opinions of deluded psychopaths.
The perfect body protects its owner from disease, gives birth to amazing new people and stops your bones from falling out. The end.
The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affacted by what other people talk or think about it.
If you forget who you've become remember who you are
If i believe my truth is true and you believe your truth is true, what if my truth says yours is a lie.is it still true?
Never trust a person whose smile doesn't reach their eyes, chances are they do similar thing when they "cry" - Just be sure you have that OSCAR ready next time they do this
Chasing something external to satisfy the internal is a hollow practice. The only thing you can chase is yourself and you are already here!
Think before you speak, unless it's urgent
So, am I too, like all other humans, just a rogue? Sure! Just a notch less than those rascals wearing godly robes.