Humour Quotes

If you tell me I'm sensible in addition to normal and wise, I'm going to punch you in the stomach.

Next time I want to do something nice, slap me.

The thing about changing the world... Once you do it, the world's all different.

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

So Beckendorf was pretty popular?" Leo asked. "I mean-before he blew up?

Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.

The only thing worse than having a party that no one attends is having a party attended only by two vastly, deeply uninteresting people.

Finally, the intercom crackles and Hatmitch's acerbic laugh fills the studio. He contains himself just long enough to say, 'And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies.

Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter...with alliteration, no less!

Consider me your candy stripper... I mean striper.

Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.

Every day's a negotiation and sometimes it's done with guns.

I said breathe. Not do a fish-out of-water imitation.

Don't call me 'gentleman'. I work for a livin'.

What would killing the Elders result in?" "Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?

There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the word... deshabille. It meant untidy, but with bags and bags of style.

Above everything else I've done, I've always said I've had more guts than I've got talent.

Patrick actually used to be popular before Sam bought him some good music.

Oh, I can never get enough. Which, incidentally, is what your sister said when--

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven’t done in years— barnyard sounds.

Horses are calmer people. They also don't throw things at cats.

There’s always time for arguin’ when you’re a Fuentes.

While the eyes of the world will be on us let's show everyone that we have a great sense of humour.

Humour ended up being a really useful skill when it came time to be an international television celebrity.

Children generally hate to be idle; all the care then is that their busy humour should be constantly employed in something of use to them

Thus, I've created humour.

I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humour rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it - I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.

I like girls with a good sense of humour. Girls who are a lot of fun to be around.

A sense of humour is common sense dancing.

The most important quality in a partner is a sense of humour.

As a bandleader, I try to pass on the same family values that I grew up with: help people, hang on to your sense of humour, be tolerant and keep your judgments to yourself.

I spent more time in America, but I developed a very English sense of humour. I clicked into it deeply with Peter Sellers, who is still probably my favourite comedian.

I definitely try to mix humour into anything I do, even if it is into a drama.

Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill.

Human humour often consists of pretending to wish something does not really wish.

I refuse not to have a sense of humour.

When I was in film school, it was said that all good films were characterised by some form of humour.

There are a lot of filmmakers I love whose work doesn't inspire mine at all. For example: Quentin Tarantino. From his films you can see that he has a wicked sense of humour, and I love that!

Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.

Because I was a shy and awkward child, I used humour to deflect attention. It was a controlling mechanism. Because I could use it to control my image.

There's such a unique humour in Wales that I just love and miss in Los Angeles.

Humour in its highest reach mingles with pathos: it voices sorrow for our human lot and reconciliation with it.

I was trying for years to woo people through humour, but it seems flash cars are much easier.

Making art is like humour - very moment dependent.

You cannot study Pleasure in the moment of the nuptial embrace, nor repentance while repenting, nor analyze the nature of humour while roaring with laughter.

Humour is the making others act or talk absurdly and unconsciously; wit is the pointing out and ridiculing that absurdity consciously, and with more or less ill-nature.

We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.

Humour is completed by an audience.

I played like a child!

musicians rarely have a sense of humour, at least, about themselves.