Humorous Quotes
I do not do free e-books. I occasionally like to eat that thing you people call "food".
She did not care what a ludicrous picture she might be painting, a fat happy old lady in her night gown, swinging on a small little swing in the dead of the night.
A gold cage is still a cage.-King David IOh, go cry in a bag of money.-Queen Christina
Few seem to be able to eat a turkey leg at Disneyland without splattering tsunami scale grease, so grab plenty of napkins or wear a bib, tablecloth or scuba suit.
I would rather write a book without a title if my true friend chooses to live in a million dollar home in London and acts foreign.
A balanced dieT to make you die with a tea, consists of holding two bags of cookies on each hand and a voracious hunger to consume.
By the time that adorable steak and I had become one flesh I could have taken on the whole Valmy clan singlehanded.
Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children.
I didn't want to tell him that I was so wet that Noah would have had to build an ark to avoid the flood in my pants - Moxie
Jersey cows, ” Eva explained after Jac complimented the luxurious taste. “The butter and cream here are better than anywhere in the world.”“Not that we’re prejudiced, ” Theo teased.
Are you okay?" Kelly cried."I shot dinner, " Nick said.Kelly snorted. "Look, Hannibal, you can shoot back if they 're shooting at you, but it's still not okay to eat them afterward.
Damn, he was good. I'd been professionally sullied without a single item of clothing removed.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
He stood at the table facing Flora and blowing heavily on his tea and staring at her. Flora did not mind. It was quite interesting: like having tea with a rhinoceros.
It paid to be cultured, just as long as you didn't start growing bacteria.
I’d like to THANK whoever saw a bunch of cherries and thought....HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those berry seeds, call them “BEANS”, smash them and add hot water, it will be AWESOME!
Marriage is the equivalent of trying to live with a bug perpetually up your nose.”D’Artagnan Bloodhawke
Ha!: He laughed. "Almost all of them as a kid, but most recently it was my nose...for the seventh time. And I've had two concussions, three broken fingers, and a partridge in a pear tree.
I’d like to THANK the genius who saw a bunch of cherries and thought....HEY!! If I dry out a bunch of those berry seeds, call them “BEANS”, smash them and add hot water, it will be AWESOME!!!!
If you want to convince a criminal to see things your way, start by seeing things theirs.
The real point of watching television is to forget that you have a brain.
You can't be too careful about work. It's the most dangerous habit known to medical science.
Are all men's lips as soft as yours, Ari?" Bathymaas"I suppose, goddess. But I don't make it a habit to feel the lips of other men so I don't know for certain." Aricles
I vote, I challenge Bathymaasy and we shoot arrows at you dearest brother." ArtemisSet and Bathymaas laughed.Apollo, not so much.
Why do I write? Because I like telling stories and I don't like repeating myself (insert chuckle here).
