Humorous Quotes
Special Post-Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Eating Crow" This year, it just tastes like Seahawk.
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Unger Games" If your meals depend on you beating the Seahawks, you're gonna go "'Unger-y.
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Wilson or Brady?" The writing is on the ball...
Special Super Bowl Wisdom of the Ages: "Tom Brady's balls" Nothing more than a publicity stunt to keep the NFL Network from losing San Francisco's market share.
Politicians and children have two speeds: running and asleep.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Virtual Reality" A fairly plausible explanation for the abundance of Virtual People running around these days.
A man who has shot lions in large quantities has an unfair advantage over other men.
Wisdom of the Ages "News People" Always joking around and happy. I guess that proves that ignorance really is bliss.
I don't know what effect these men will have upon the enemy, but, by God, they frighten me.
Tell Jack that after he finishs saving the universe again, he has to take out the trash in the kitchen."-Rosalind Kirby, one day in 1971
He was my age and in my imagination he was a fireman, not the kind that actually fights fires but the kind who travels the country shirtless posing for calendars.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams Week" Just like me in 2003, it looks like Brian Williams ended up "Between Iraq and a Hard Place.
I love Naples, Florida! Although, I’m so far behind everyone else there. After all, I’m still wearing my first face!
I doubt very much that writers ever go to therapy. I wouldn't! I imagine that I wouldn't have anything to write about after!
Show me a writer that doesn't use their craft as a coping mechanism and I'll show you my unicorn.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Valentine's Day" Because she never forgets, especially if you do.
Wisdom of the Ages: "Unsuccessful pick-up lines" 'My parole ends today, let's celebrate!
Wisdom of the Ages: "Government" Like a mafia protection racket-without the protection.
Wisdom of the Ages "Unsuccessful Town Slogans" Sequim (WA)- "We put the Dung in Dungeness.
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
Fiction is but a moment of bliss that takes the pain away...Like a cookie for the soul...
If you're committed, that just means you're in agreement your undertaking could be your ticket to the asylum.
I engage in subtle stalking. That's entirely different and perfectly socially acceptable.
You know what you tell a man with two black eyes? Nothing. He's already been told twice."Darryl the cop
Despite his flaws, one has to admit that he is a whale-sized catch.”“I’ll be thrilled when someone harpoons him, ” Lillian muttered, making the other two laugh.
The thing to remember about a kick is you go for his twigs and berries" ~Declan~
Going down 6% grades using only a hand brake and low gears wasn’t for sissies and, in retrospect, might have been for idiots.
They tell you the devil is in the details…what they don’t tell you is that he’s laughing maniacally.
Can a person really love someone so deeply after only a week? Hello? Cliche much for insta-love?
Well, I've got tomorrow morning off, so I thought I might spend that thinking about her. Basically, my plan is to maybe just romantically obsess over her but not really do anything about it.
Fainting is for preteen girls and those really weird goats. I do not faint!
You soon know the difference between a real newspaper and an electronic one as soon as a fly won't leave you alone.
The difference between an ignorant fool shoveling manure in a bullpen, and a fool with a PhD, is that the fool with the PhD can shovel more of it, faster.
The oddly shaped man had introduced himself as a Mr. Abernathy, a wealthy friend of the family. "I'm a wealthy friend of the family, " he had said. "Very rich. Friendly.