Humorous Quotes
Two fairies were sleeping peacefully on his bed. Dinnie was immediately depressed. He knew that he did not have enough money to see a therapist.
I've watched goldfish make babies, and ants execute earwigs. I've seen a fly deliver live young while having its head eaten by a mantis. And I had a golden retriever behave like one.
Just because you’re allowed to use magic now you don’t have to whip your wands out for every tiny little thing!
It's not what I'd want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. And then when the pretty women walk over my grave I would grab their ankles, like in that movie.
I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!
Pink is supposed to weaken your enemies, make them go soft on you, which must be why it's used for baby girls. It's a wonder the military hasn't got on to this.
When does he ever think?" Richard straddled a chair and accepted a wind cup from Raoul. "If he were to sell his brain, he could claim it had never been used.", Chapter 7
Seedy wasn't a fair description for the place, because seeds imply eventual regrowth and renewal.
I had refused Emerson's well-meant offers of assistance, knowing his efforts would be confined to moving the furniture to the wrong places and demanding how much longer the process would take.
You got off on the wrong foot. I merely watched you shove it into your mouth.
When you by nature subscribe to the view that everyone except yourself is a berk or a wanker, it is hard to bond with anybody in any rational common cause.
So here's my theory, and this is such crap science, I don't have to tell you. It's science without microscopes, blood tests, or reality.
I refuse to have a life partner who spends his days pretending to be on a BBC show.
Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?
There is, after all, no pleasure like that given by a woman who really wants to see you.
They can afford to smile because they all have teeth so dazzling if they dropped them in the snow they'd be lost forever.
When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.
If you have to pay the bills, and you write something you're not proud of, use a pen-name for that.
Forgive me....I called you an idiot. I spoke too hastily. You are not. Had I given it more thought, I would have called you a scoundrel.
Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of 'Stagefright Sympathy Sickness'.
In Tantric Zen you can be humorous and make fun of anything or you can be very serious.
If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people, he should resign.
It was to be a short visit for the G-shevs. More than four days in the U.S. and Raisa's VISA card bill would shatter the fragile Soviet economy.
The telephone is the greatest single enemy of scholarship; for what our intellectual forebears used to inscribe in ink now goes once over a wire into permanent oblivion.
When I was a younger man and had a life, I owned an El Camino pickup in the '70s. It was a real sort of Southern deal. I had Astroturf in the back.
We're not talking about a few rooms here with delicate personal matters involved.
If the Japanese want to be taken seriously as world financial powers, they'd better quit using the same tailor as variety show chimps.
It had never occurred to us that the Kremlin's new anti-booze campaign would apply to journalists. Now, that's a human-rights violation.
There is no decision to be more or less comic. I don't feel more or less humorous in my day-to-day. These things are accidental.
Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.
From my own personal encounters and studies with both Tantric and Zen Buddhist monks, I have found them to be humorous, warm, charming, and compassionate.