Humor Quotes

A Book for the Service Minded as well as the Government Bashers, on How to Be and How Not to Be.

It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________, ” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).

Persons of quality had devoted yester evening and much of the night to liquidating their holdings in the South Sea Company and gathering in clubs and coffeehouses to misinform one another.

Maybe taming my tongue will be good for me in the end. But it's pretty hard when you've got a world filled with idiots from Drunkopolis.

A peaceful refuge in which to rediscover each other, we thought, , not realizing that, while golf and fishing are Scotland's most popular outdoor sports, gossip is the most popular indoor sport.

Will the last person on the planet please turn off the lights?

It's an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer!

Everyone should be comfy during the apocalypse.

He's named you heir apparent to the Apocalypse. Congratulations.

You can't study comedy it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society.

Spielberg read the 'Understudy' and decided that was the voice he wanted to write 'Smash.' He wanted a story that had humanity and humor and high-stakes dreams.

I should say, one of the things about being a widow or a widower, you really, really need a sense of humor, because everything's going to fall apart.

I've got a sense of humor. I'm a funny guy.

I don't think I would describe my sense of humor. Doesn't sound like the kind of thing I'd do.

While many of us never knew Ronald Reagan personally, we felt close to him because we shared his lighthearted sense of humor, admired his uncommon virtue, and were moved by his remarkable wisdom.

There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.

Always have a sense of humor about life - you'll need it - but always be courteous to boot.

When people are in the midst of really heavy stuff and still have a sense of humor, I admire that.

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself.

I'm not 17 anymore. I still have some of the same sort of anger, but I have a sense of humor about it... a sense of being constructive with that anger.

Why anybody gets my sense of humor I never know, but I do know that when they do, I keep them as close as I possibly can.

I don't think that because you die and move on to somewhere else that you lose your sense of humor.

The wealthy don't have any sense of humor. It's not like the English, where the theater is perhaps the one place where they have a sense of humor about themselves.

My sense of humor lies a little closer to the middle.

The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.

What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.

Anyone who knows me, and most of my fans, know that I have a sense of humor.

My sense of humor often gets me in trouble.

I have a sense of humor, and sometimes it gets me into trouble.

I like telling stories with a sense of humor. But humor can also distance you from the subject you're writing about. I'm interested in using humor as a portal to something a bit more serious.

Any band that doesn't have a sense of humor has a little bit of a problem.

I feel like I've always had a sordid sense of humor, and it's only gotten more twisted as I've gotten older.

I do not have a sense of humor of any recognizable sort.

There's a film I did years ago, 'Love Serenade, ' that I still really love. It's such an oddball sense of humor. It was a really special film for me when I did it.

I like guys with a sense of humor who smile a lot and are kind.

I don't feel that I'm strictly Danish I don't feel that my sense of humor is strictly Danish or my human sensibility is strictly Danish.

If you're that hypersensitive about color and don't have a sense of humor, don't marry out of your race.

From an early age onward, it was said that 'Ingmar has no sense of humor.'

Without a sense of humor, I would have been gone a long time ago.

The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't have that wouldn't be palatable.

What we're doing is fun - if you have any sense of humor at all!

Humor disarms people. It opens them up to starting a dialogue about things they wouldn't normally talk about. I don't understand how people who don't have a sense of humor get through life.

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way.

With actors like Steve McQueen, Paul Newman and Harrison Ford, what made them such icons is that even in dramatic movies, their characters had a sense of humor.

Food is sort of like the Jewish sense of humor, a defense mechanism. It is one of the things that helped the Jews survive through 2, 000 years of an often very harsh Diaspora.

Along with a sense of humor, my songs have to be sincere, and they have to be sung from a position of inner conviction.

Both of my kids have my sense of humor - they're definitely entertaining.

When a chick has a sense of humor, there's nothing more attractive.