Humor Quotes
The purest definition of “religious” is: relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality.
We do have some capacity to determine how things evolve, and how we evolve, individually and as a community or race. That’s a tremendous freedom and a tremendous responsibility.
I used to give advice, and no one wanted it. Now I give suggestions and everyone asks for more.
Creativity is when a stupid clever soul gets up from bed and do amazing things that makes the world think he is wise.
Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity
To be creative is to look Madness in the eye and challenge it to a spitting contest.
Soak blanket in gravy and make a delicious brick wrap. Serve in All Gravy Room at the Mandrake Hotel.
Do not worry about who get the credit or praise of the work done. Continue work to give your best.Your reward may come unexpected.
I figured something out, " he said aloud. "The future is unpredictable."Hassan said, "Sometimes the kafir likes to say massively obvious things in a really profound voice.
The Chairman glared across three hundred and eighty thousand kilometers of space at Conrad Taylor, who reluctantly subsided, like a volcano biding its time.
Everything was fine, would continue to be fine, would eventually get even better as long as the supermarket did not slip.
Heaven knows where I'll end up - it's a safe bet I'll never be at the top of anything! Nor do I particularly care to be.
Two steps forward...one step back...I've always hated that old cliche too...I believe that we should all be able to dance through life and only change the tempo now and then.
Though you can live for as much as you like, but your longevity is stupidity if you were leading a worthless life.
With faces entirely invisible through suits, it was hard to be sure, but my impression was that he was watching me and copying my every move. I felt this proved he was intelligent.
O Lord, grant my dearest husband, Jeremiah Nii Mama Akita, the spirit of prayer and the grace to read thy word.
Have you got something against faith?”“Have you got something against reason?
If, as I have reason to believe, I have disintegrated the nucleus of the atom, this is of greater significance than th
If there is a god maybe it rewards those who don't believe on the basis of insufficient evidence--and punishes those who do.
The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don’t—whichever seems likelier to win an effect.
I shouted the perfect words to scare him off. It was just the delivery (and only the delivery) that made me sound like a twelve-year-old girl with pee running down her leg. I felt dirty and stupid.
There's a saying, " Aeneas said: "Keep an eye on Greeks when they offer gifts." He spoke wryly. "Horses, particularly.
Of Books and Scribes there are no end:This Plague--and who can doubt it?Dismays me so, I've sadly pennedAnother book about it.
The poet is a faker / Who's so good at his act / He even fakes the pain / Of pain he feels in fact.
We have just discovered our dear colleague butchered in a hotel room, and you wish to discuss literature?
If you're going to be a narcissistic schmuck, kid, don't bother studying Faulkner. Go straight to Brett Easton Ellis. He's the role model you need.
Do u sometimes feel dumb or duffer are inadequate words to describe some people?How about DUMFER?
Focus your attention on the quality of your words, and not the quantity, because few sensible talks attracts millions of listeners more than a thousand gibberish.
Nothing mitigates the throes of depression like a steaming plate of spaghetti and meatballs with marinara sauce and grated parmasan cheese, with a good fresh bread to wipe up.
Did I miss the denial, anger, and bargaining phases, or did you leap straight to depression?
I am committing suicide by cigarette, ” I replied. She thought that was reasonably funny. I didn’t. I thought it was hideous that I should scorn life that much, sucking away on cancer sticks.
I'm so glad I didn't die on the various occasions I have earnestly wished I might, for I would have missed a lot of lovely weather.
The first thing the therapist asked me was, 'Are you here because you're depressed?' I said, 'Not at all--I'm here because I'm Southern.'" Anne Herndon
Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out.
Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.
Prideful fool. It hurt his feelings that he couldn’t make my crazy go away. You know how men are. Always trying to fix things can’t be fixed.
There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled.