Humor Quotes

I've had a lot of therapists, so I've had the opportunity to approach my fear in many different ways. I've faced it head on and sideways and tried to tiptoe up behind it.

Smiles are a funny thingand laughter is hilarious.I smile sometimeswhen I am delirious.

Persistent smile brings out hollow dimples, and persistent frowns brings out hollow wrinkles.

I think I might be bi-polar. It's not normal to be this emotionally unstable.

Nothing succeeds like success. Kill me now.

What's the difference between depression and South America?If you really had to, you could conquer South America.

The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation p

Somebody stop the world. I'm scared and I want to get off.

Dear Lynda Carter, Please be with me in my hour of need. Especially if I don't have to twirl around to get my powers.

He would have given anything for a tension-breaker-maybe, if he prayed hard enough, the school would catch on fire or something.

Going to church is not a sign of going to God, if you think he is omnipresent, he is right there in your soul and bedroom.

Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?' someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country.

If you want to save your child from polio, you can pray or you can inoculate. ... Choose science.

Sometimes, you have to shot block a friend's prayer because she's asking God to bless an obviously bad dating relationship.

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here.

One the advantages about this life is that you can hate someone without knowing him

I've nothing against people. Just a***oles. But then, most people are.

On a supra human level, yeah, I got That Which Is. Yet on a simple human level, rare are times when either my left or my right foot is not in some kind of shit.

Great books live longer than people.They are gonna bury us all.

While you’re hating your life just because you can’t get what you want, someone is praying to have a life like yours..!!

The older we get, the more we become ourselves.

Do not fall in love.....it means you have to look at someone else.

The circumstances surrounding your birth are not as important as the opportunity to live life.

God gave me the life and created the world to know what it is actually.

don't try to hate me or even judging my attitude anyway you are gonna fall in love.

There is nothing better in life than commitment to personal development and lifelong learning.

A picture should capture a moment, a place in time you can return to again and again.

You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life's a bottomless feast of shit.

Growing up is the dumbest thing I ever wanted to rush into.

Really, I protest--what is left for the satirical mind to invent when reality so surpasses it?

I'm quite certain that if I lost my sense of humor, it would most definitely need to be replaced by a padded cell.

It was comparable to getting sick from bad ventilation

Sweetie, you don't need to drive me to the brink of insanity... I'm close enough to walk!

A problem isn't a real problem till you decide to make it a problem... so what's the problem again?

The happiest people are the ones who can build a firm foundation of awesomeness out of the stones people have thrown at them.

Life is meaning less when you realized that you are about to die. Till then, everything negative however trifle they may be, depress you.

I'm trying like hell to leave a footprint, carbon or otherwise.

If you say anything, it just gets worse.

...once you've crawled into what's commonly thought of as the sordid underbelly of life, you realize it's all just different versions of normal.

More often than not, you will never be judged by your intentions because the world can't read minds and very few will know the heart of a person they have not given time to know personally.

So, what did you learn?Curiosity asked the Cat, thenpoked her carcass with a stick.

He had existed for a long time and was fluent in many languages - most of them…dead ones.

One piece of wisdom a writer quickly learns ~ typos keep you humble.

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

You can find humor in everything. everything.

What I learn today I shall know forever. Whether or not I remember that I know it is a different story.

Want to enjoy an restful day? Wake up, turn your phone on, meditate, look at the sky—then toss your phone into the bushes.

Once I was running and there was someone on the treadmill next to me who stopped running to answer a question I asked and flew of the back of the treadmill. Being fully engaged has many benefits.

He threw his hands to his eyes and hissed. Like the hiss of incinerating ashes. 'What is this bright, orange orb in the sky that mocks me with its warmth?

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway