Humor Quotes

Where are you from? New York?""Weird you picked up on that, " she said, "I've been gone from there for so long."Like a couple of decades could dilute that accent.

He still wasn't looking at me, which meant I was still in trouble. I swear, sometimes this partnership is like being married. We fight all the time and neither one of us is getting married.

How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

It's my new best friend, Claudius Templesmith, and as I expected it, he's inviting us to a feast.

They got a manure machine in there, ” Keller said. He went up to the barn and peeked through a hole between tow boards. “On wheels. It’s fun to ride sometimes, when you don’t care how you smell.

You'll be bereft without me.

Genevieve hunched her shoulders against the storm of sound and fury and struggled to imagine a worse sort of hell. Widdershins, of course, seemed perfectly happy, but Widdershins was weird.

The bonds of friendship dwindle with age, Oliver. But a little blackmail lasts forever.

My Zora senses are tingling, " I said.Nathan looked at me blankly."Right, you don't know anything about Spiderman, " I remembered."Spider who?" he asked.

She headed for a wide flat rock on the creek's bank, her posture still demanding 'no trespassing' but no longer 'trespassers will be shot.

In a word, in adversity she was the best of comforters, in good fortune the most troublesome of friends...

A good friend would offer you an umbrella in the rain. A best friend would steal yours and say, 'run, b*tch, run!

What exactly does a friend do?

…reality is the make-believe of the majority that can only thrive in conformity.

The sea never dries for it has so many friend

That weekend my people brought home a big eared gray scrawny kit.He was so loud and annoying that I did not like him one bit.

As far as I’m concerned, the only thing sweeter than seeing a friend is that friend canceling on me.

I wish I was friends with things, " he said at last, "but I'm not. I never had anything to be friends with, and I can't bear people.

Cool people are only cool for the first thirty minutes of knowing them. After that, they just become annoying.

When people keep telling you that you can’t do a thing, you kind of like to try it.

Normal....What the majority of people look, act, and talk and like.So what if the majority became what we see as wierd now?Would our normal, become our new wierd?

For Liza, a greeting is an opportunity to make new friends. For me, it's yet more people I'll have to avoid.

Sometimes people hate you. Just hate them back.

Irritatingly angry people have no sense of humor when wearing their “angry pants.

People think I am younger then I really am, because I act so immature.

Falling in love is stupid, and whatsmore a waste of time. It's a thing for love-obsessed psycho's and dreamers. And that's exactly why people fall in it. And I don't blame them.

At 8:23 there seemed every chance of a lasting alliance starting between Florin and Guilder.At 8:24 the two nations were very close to war.

Peace be with you, " I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me.

My Gullah grandfather is bringing a bag of dust to a vampire war. I feel better.

Right, " said Fat Charlie conversationally. "You realize, of course, that this means war." It was the traditional war cry of a rabbit when pushed too far.

You do not mean there is danger of peace?", cried Jack.

Brigan, could you attempt, at least, to make yourself presentable? I know this is a war, but the rest of us are trying to pretend it’s a party.

What are we doing, burying bodies?" Admittedly, this would be a lace to do it. Isolated, off any main roads."Nope. We're going to war.

I suppose we ought to be getting home, in any case.”“Oh god, is it wartime already?”“Look on the bright side: it’ll be dinner when we get back.

Then I’m tempted to die just to … spite him.”“That’s the spirit that will win us the war.

Will you stay in Germany?''No. Somewhere different.''Like where?''Somewhere there was no war. Ireland maybe.

Dreams are memories. Memories are dreams. But my time with you hasn’t become a dream just yet. Because the sensation of your kisses keep me from sleep. I’m in love, God help me, I’m in love.

It's a Christmas miracle. I had no tree. Now I have a forest.

Don't expect the unexpected. Let the unexpected expect you.

A dream doesn't come true by itself... we must pull it.

If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come

Though I exist in the realms of day and night, I'm only truly alive in the moments between.

And once the ripples still and the water returns to its unwavering calm, even the pebble that broke its surface will be forgotten. And the world will go on.

I was lost in the moments I decided to keep. To be awake in a dreamless sleep. And in that place between dream and sleep, I planted some more things I would like to keep.

She's an array of undiscovered words, of feeling beyond my threshold. I'm just a man, trying to hold himself together in her wake.

The flicker, the flutter, even thoughts can stutter.

It was her eyes. Soft, meadow-shade eyes with frostbitten edges. Every glance casually held gossamer infinity. Every stare revealed inky black abyss with a hint of divinity.

Woven words are little conviction when I present myself as a man of fiction.

She was carmine shadows reflecting from my crimson words. Every pulse sent a velvet ripple through the shade. Every breath, a scarlet pause.

With ravenous passion and reckless ambition he forged his thoughts into words, obsessed with the notion that dying would not be the last thing he would do.