Death Humor Quotes

I've never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.

I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Either this wallpaper goes, or I do.

Some people want to kill goliath but they do not want to attend to sheep. How can God use you to kill giants if you cannot follow simple instructions?

I would have had to kill him, and Death, you know, keeps secrets better even than a guilty Roman.

What's it like?""Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans.

When I die I hope it may be said:'Her suffering was black, but her books were read'.

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans.

Die, die we all pass away, But don't wear a frown coz it's really okay, And you might try to hide, And you might try to pray, But we all end up remains of the day.

YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.That's what being alive is all about.

Just know I amNot there to catch youBut I am there for you

Immortality like this is about as useful as sunscreen on a submarine.

He thought he saw some horses, too, and a clown, but it was the faces of all those dead raptors that really bothered him. And maybe that clown a little bit.

Just being alive should make you late for everything. In case you've never noticed, the dead are always on time.

I'm Allen Walker!"My life....is over...I'm going to die....

That's how I want to go. Taking my own way out and totally pissing everybody off at the end.

Sorry to hear about your Dad."He shrugged. "He was seventy, and we always told him fast food would kill him.""Heart attack?""He was hit by a Pizza Express truck.

No man should go to Valhalla with brothel rash.

Do you wanna play? Everyone's dead, so I got bored. Did you come to play with me?--Wrath

If you can feed in the presence of your enemies, if you can be blessed under the weight of burdens, when you praise God in pain, it is preparation for provision.

Christians we cannot be allowed to be fractured at a time like this. There are more of us, there are more of light in us than in the agents of darkness.

Man's panic does not produce God's power.....sometimes you need to pray before you post on social media.

This is not the first time that the world has been in a mess but you are still God, you left us on the earth, not only to preach in a building but to be the church beyond the buildings.

Be careful the mistake of yesterday always lives with tomorrow.

I don't want to settle down because God has satisfied me and heard my prayers. I want to stay hungry and thirsty for the things of God.

God always wants us to see things from heaven's prospective. You may not be doing much to your community but what you are is so important. You are significant.

Five minutes after something happened might not be the best time for you to get into your Facebook and tell everybody. Men's panic does not produce God's power.

The conflict hasn't gotten worst but the contest has really changed.............

All of my life God has allowed me to share prospectives with people who are different. You cannot lead people whose prospective you are not willing to understand.

Surrounded by enemies, surrounded by evil, surrounded by darkness, injustice......."don't be afraid, those who are with us are more than those who are with them"2 Kings 6:16

Whenever someone is a threat to the enemy there will be an attack dispatched against that person to try to minimise their effectiveness.

There is power in the word of God if used properly.

There is a remedy and there is a hope but the remedy is not in the political party or in places that will take you away from hope. You better run to God, that is the only place you can find both.

I didn't come from a success lineage but I am so glad that my earthly lineage is not my final story because when I gave my life to Jesus twelve years back, God interrupted my story.

I do not have any trust fund, I have always trusted God for all my funds.

Whenever you are in transition it is always important to choose the words that you use. You call it crises in your life and I call it transition.

All my pains has always increased my sense of purpose.

God's perspectives requires persistence. To have God's perspective in the world we live in requires persistence.

In God's presence I find peace that is much deeper than any disappointment. I will grow and I understand I can't grow myself, that is why I need God and His grace.

If you can't see the assets in you, it will be hard for you to export it to the world. Recognise who you are and the world will recognise you.

You can't disappoint what God has appointed.

Sometimes we want God to use us to do big things when we would not even want to do the basics.

Violence can read like poetry. You just have to describe the act as if you’re in love with the way your characters bleed.

God wants to use you right where you are with what you have not what you do not have.

I don't just have only the peace of God, I do also have a God who gives peace, not just resources but the revelation of His presence.

Have you ever asked yourself this question "what can God do through me?" The preacher has no platform if the people has no sense of mission.

I have graduated to the extent of not asking what is happening in my life because I trust the maker(God).

When you praise God in pain, it is preparing you for provision.

I have my priorities and I know my purpose. I do not Praise God because of my pain but I praise Him because of what the pain is producing.