Comedy Quotes
When have I ever given him the impression that I was okay with him just stopping by whenever he wanted to use my body as an organic garbage disposal?
Honestly, he could be adorable, and at the moment she had the feeling he wasn't even trying.
It was easier when all we wanted to do was eat them and take their stuff, ” he grumbled.And it had been easier when he hadn’t cared if he made any of them cry.
Patch leaned back against the booth and arched his eyebrows at me. The gesture said it all: Pay up."You got lucky, " I
Cowboy!" she hollered.Every man on the street turned to stare at her."--pg.117
You are not showing her my baby pictures!” He sounded horrified, which made me laugh. “Come on, Evan, ” I teased with a laughing smile, “you were adorable.
Writing is like knitting. Stitch after stitch, word by word, and before you know it you have a book ... or a jumper!
What are you boys doing?” she asks, as if we’re still little kids messing around.“Arguin’, ” Carlos says matter-of-factly.
Ben walks in the room and asks, “What were you guys doing?” Nikki says “Nothing” at the same time I say, “Your sister and I were just makin’ out.
Sylvia grabs my sleeve. “He’s a looker.”“I know. The problem is, he knows it, too.
A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out me
What’s with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan.”“I suspect I am a hooligan.
cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin’ in your house, I’d kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.
I’m not going anywhere until you hear me out.”Oh, please no. Anything except having to listen to her lecture. I push the button that calls the
You were lookin’ at me like you wanted to kiss me.”I force a laugh. “Yeah, right, ” I say sarcastically.“Nobody’s watchin’ if you want to, you know, try it. Not to brag, but I’m somewhat of an expert.
Don’t try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you.”“I hate you, too.
Listen, I didn’t ask for a face and body girls find attractive. But thanks to the mixture of my parents’ DNA, I’ve got them, and I’m not ashamed to use ’em.
Boys don’t gossip.”“Pah! You don’t know us as well as you think.”This was a disturbing prospect.
I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them.
Who’s driving the boat?”Over the motor, I heard girls screaming at us the instant before we crashed.
I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I’d enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber.
But first I had to get through the ironing. It took a lot of patience. I had none. It took forever, and then I had to press the whole shirt again to get out the creases I’d pressed into it.
The intercom buzzes while you're changing your shirt. You push the Talk button: "Who is it?" "Narcotics squad. We're soliciting donations for children all over the world who have no drugs.
But...that doesn't make any sense...!''It does if you're a goat.
Labor is a man crowning glory.""Not this man's.""I quote Marx"I raised my hands. The pickaxe handle had been rough."I quote blisters.
Don't try to nice your way out of this. It's insulting.
The table was covered with food like roast chicken, roast potatoes, roast parsnips, roast turkey, roast liquorice and, the centrepiece, a roasted knight.
Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends
I say, 'Woe to them that have a nose, a real nose, and come to look round the torture-chamber! Aha, aha, aha!
You're asking the cyborg fugitive and the wild animal to be the welcoming committee? That's adorable.
I had a dream about you. I licked your cone of ice cream. It was envelope flavored.
I had a dream about you. We were married and I walked into the room to see you in my new black dress and high heels and I said "That's not what I meant when I said I bought them for you".
You have been around since scaly things crawled out of the muck, would it have killed you to read a book?
A crazy old lady, leading a band of teenagers against an angry supernatural Entity - who’da thought?
Rivera rubbed his temples. "Satan told you to do it?" he said wearily."No.""Elvis?""I told you, it's supernatural.
He’s sitting casually at my kitchen table peeling the skin off an applewith a pocket knife, a red apple that he has quite obviously appropriated from my fruit bowl, might I add.
So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn’t?”He snorted. “You don’t just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it.
Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows
I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.
Well, you know that old saying, “Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies.
Just because I'm insane doesn't mean I have to act all crazy.
I am not schizoid. A little manic-depressive, maybe.""'Know thyself.'" "We try, sir.
