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Congress' passing of the omnibus spending bill without reading it shows more than anything why they can't be trusted.
I think that being on the road and doing more and more stand-up has allowed me to figure out... like, I don't think I'll ever be Bill Hicks, but I think I'm figuring out what my opinion is on things.
You read [Bill ] Maher's book, and he didn't take Econ 101. All his arguments about gasoline, it's not that they're right or wrong - they're just not informed.
I think in the [Bill] Clinton era, if people hadn't been spending vast amounts of time attacking Clinton, they would have found that they had essentially the same problems as they do now.
I do a lot for PETA. I do a lot of things I think are really important, I volunteer at school and I'm still amazed I can pay my bills because I feel like I don't work that much, I really don't.
I was disappointed in how [Bill] Clinton, like [Jimmy] Carter, used the founders to argue for huge expansions in federal power, clearly beyond what the founders could have ever conceived.
Everywhere we look, technology has changed our daily lives - from the way we pay our bills, to the way we buy plane tickets or keep in touch with friends and family.
People who lack material wealth, who are poor, won't be very happy. They will be obsessed with meeting their bills at pay day. And people who have an abundance of material goods are often not happy.
People around the world just want self-respect. They want to take care of themselves, they want to pay for their own bills, they want to take care of their families.
Death is a greatly overrated experience. I hated Mother's and I'm not looking forward to my own. Apart from the sorrow there are the bills to be paid. Nobody dies for free.
My dad sent Frank Sinatra a dollar bill to autograph, and when it came back, signed, he had it framed: it was always up on the wall in whatever flat we were in.
It is only the words of the bill that have presidential approval, where that approval is given. It is not to be supposed that in signing a bill the President endorses the whole Congressional Record.
Dreaming is great, but thinking big thoughts alone will not build a business, pay your bills or make you into the person you know in your heart you can be.
I have long had a theory Bill Clinton-Hillary Clinton relationship. Not how they met, not that story, not the courtship or any of that. But how it happened that this once-in-a-lifetime woman.
I dont get distracted until the weight of other things left undone finally tips the balance; my mind is flooded with calls, bills, supermarkets, letters, and I have to stop and sort things out.