Ty Burr Quotes

Ric Flair was so big I heard about him. I've read his autobiography and all that. He's huge.

My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

Mixing with groups of people can be enjoyed, it is pleasing in a way that cannot be explained other than the temptation to become closer to one or the other.

Never gaining a good reputation is not nearly as painful as losing one.

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to kill myself.

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is "looking for". Just say what you think is funny. .

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.

Well probably the coolest show of that whole tour was in Germany. I had a chunk of material on [Adolf] Hitler, and I was worried about how they'd react, but they loved it.

I am a better cook than I am an actor. If I have any ego, it's about cooking. I'm one of the best cooks... and I cook in any language.

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.

When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It's always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who's logged more hours than that guy.

Against these two [Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton] I would [vote], but I never voted for [Barack Obama]. I always voted third party - the ones who say their gonna jail the bankers.

I know of no condition worse than that of the man who has little or no light on the supreme religious questions, and who at the same time is making no effort to come to the light.

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions.

I am so pro-swine flu... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that's good for me; I'm good.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

It's a blue-collar city [Manchester] that's transitioning into a white collar place and people are getting priced out.

It's better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don't get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about where I live.

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.

The inconveniences we faced within this state are minor compared to... New Orleans.

Man is that guy ripped. I mean, I've got the washboard stomach, too. It's just that mine has about two months of laundry on top of it.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!

I don't think people know what hygienist means.

I enjoy collaborating with other people.

I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.

The internet is like a surround system, a landscape at its most benign, a closed system of surveillance and self-surveillance at its more sinister. Something we can no longer imagine an outside of.

Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we'd never live it down.

I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.

And Donald Trump? That man literally has people shouting the n word at his rallies and he doesn't address it, which is astounding to me. He's a terrible person.

For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.

I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.

My career has been a slow burn, so waiting to do the Edinburgh Festival was a smart move. If I'd spent a month there 10-15 years ago, there's no way anyone was gonna remember me.

We have to make you think it's an important seat - because you're in it.

In the United States Senate, we cannot do great things without reaching across the aisle and working together - and I look forward to the challenges ahead.

If you're away from your house for a month, by the time you come back there's someone else living in it.

I've been bumped, I've had to go up after them, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been booed. I've had people steal from me and lie to me.

Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.