Terry Pratchett Quotes

Once you have your character sitting right there in your head, all you really need to do is wind them up, put them down, and simply write down what they do, say, or think.

Sometimes I feel that the world is made up of sensible people who know the plot and bloody idiots who don't.

A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

I'd like to sell a lot of books.

I mistrust the term graphic novel because it sounds like a good thing to put on a tee-shirt. That's why the French like them.

Maybe the best comics are written by people who really are at ease in the comic world.

There are some things that are more appropriate to a children's than an adult book but there's a huge overlapping area and most kids read an age group up anyway.

I don't think a baker reads an awful lot about bread.

No one thinks that young adults read hooks for YOUNG ADULTS, books for young adults are read by kids.

I would advise budding writers some other kind of job, unless they think they're very, very lucky.

I would rather stare at the wall for half an hour than watch an episode of any of the 53,801 Australian soap operas now cluttering up UK TV.

And what would humans be without love?"RARE, said Death.

It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

I meant, " said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"Death thought about it.CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

YOU FEAR TO DIE?"It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always...it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break...

Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?""What?""Oh, you'd like something simpler?

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever, " he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.

HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE MANAGED TO INVENT BOREDOM. (Death)

Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them

I get it, ' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?

What's a philosopher?' said Brutha.Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting, ' said a voice in his head.

Bursar?""Yes, Archchancellor?""You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?""Me? No, Archchancellor.""Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.

Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.

God does not play games with His loyal servants", said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice."Whoopee", said Crowley.

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of thecat, although in this case there were three determinate states the catcould be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

Anyone with half a mind could see that, " said Tiffany.Miss Tick sighed. "Yes. But sometimes it's so hard to find half a mind when you need one.

No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...

I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS.

IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.

How do you get all those coins?" asked Mort.IN PAIRS.

WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?

YOU'RE ONLY PUTTING OFF THE INEVITABLE, he said.That's what being alive is all about.

The air smelled of a limited life expectancy.

Do you know how wizards like to be buried?""Yes!""Well, how?"Granny Weatherwax paused at the bottom of the stairs."Reluctantly.

DO NOT PUT ALL YOUR TRUST IN ROOT VEGETABLES. WHAT THINGS SEEM TO BE MAY NOT BE WHAT THEY ARE.-Death

Maladict had hallucinations, but Wazzer had a certainty you could bend steel around. It was the opposite of a hallucination, somehow. It was as if she could see what was real and you couldn't.

Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.

That’s what being alive is, Thing! It’s being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!

Ankh-Morpork is a godless city--''I thought it had more than three hundred places of worship?' said Maladict. city', he recovered.

To be frank, I find religion rather offensive.

To tell you the truth, I'm something of an atheist.

I REMEMBER WHEN ALL THIS WILL BE AGAIN.

Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time.

Well, child? Aren't you going to try to turn me into some kind of unspeakable creature?I don't think I shall bother, madam, seeing as you are making such a good job of it yourself!