Oliver Reed Quotes
I don't have a drink problem. But if that was the case and doctors told me I had to stop, I'd like to think that I would be brave enough to drink myself into the grave.
I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.
I'm not a villain, I've never hurt anyone. I'm just a tawdry character who explodes now and again.
You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher.
There is, of course, a world of difference between cricket and the movie business ... I suppose doing a love scene with Racquel Welch roughly corresponds to scoring a century be fore lunch.
I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.
At the New York Athletic Club they serve amazing food. People go there, get healthy, and then eat themselves to death - which is, I suppose, the right way to do it.
Raquel Welch is someone I can also live without. We've got some love scenes together and I am dreading them!
But the trouble is that when you drink it, you invariably meet other people drinking it.
When I come home and I'm tired from filming all day, I expect her to be there and make sure everything is cool for me. You know, like drawing my bath and helping me into bed.
I might get drunk one day and fall in love or fall over a hooker outside, and I would have consummated a relationship that I couldn't necessarily believe in.
Even though people say Richard Harris and I have been having a great feud, it's not true.
Then you get into it, especially if you start talking about football, fighting and Muhammad Ali. Then the ladies get very bored and start delivering ultimatums.
Life shouldn't be about sitting around staring at frosted glass. Life should be lived and that's all there is to it.
I wouldn't like to see a chick of mine taking her clothes off and kissing a fellow on screen. And my girls must get very hurt when they see me doing it.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Yo Mama’s so old, her memory is in black and white.
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail order.
Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo Mama’s so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals.
If Yo Mama and Yo Daddy got a divorce, they'd still be brother and sister.
Yo Mama's like mustard, she spreads easy.
Yo Mama sucks so much d***, her lips went double platinum.
What’s the difference between Yo Mama and a 747?-About 20 pounds.-Yo mama carries more passengers.-Not everyone's been on a 747.
Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.
Yo Mama's so fat her butt cheeks have different area codes.
