Oliver Herford Quotes

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.

Many are called but few get up.

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.

A man is known by the silence he keeps.

I heard a bird sing In the dark of December A magical thing And sweet to remember. 'We are nearer to Spring Than we were in September,' I heard a bird sing In the dark of December.

Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.

Some take their gold in minted mold, and some in harps thereafter, but give me mine in bubbles fine and keep the change in laughter.

Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.

There is always room at the top - after the investigation.

When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from.

What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.

There are more fish taken out of a stream than ever were in it.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Diplomacy: lying in state.

A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, but even... without any hope of doing it well.

Age, like distance lends a double charm.

Tact is to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.

Only the young die good.

An epicure is one who gets nothing better than the cream of everything but cheerfully makes the best of it.

I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan.

Song is the licensed medium for bawling in public things too silly or sacred to be uttered in ordinary speech.

A kiss is a course of procedure cunningly devised, for the mutual stopage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

A pest is a person who can talk like an encyclopedia, and does.

My wife has a whim of iron.

Children, behold the Chimpanzee: He sits on the ancestral tree From which we sprang in ages gone.

Gather kittens while you may, Time brings only sorrow; And the kittens of today; Will be old cats tomorrow.

Diplomacy is living in state.

To babble is to make a feminine noise somewhat resembling the sound of a brook, but with less meaning.

Actresses will happen in the best regulated families.

I heard a bird sing in the dark of December. A magical thing. And sweet to remember. We are nearer to Spring than we were in September. I heard a bird sing in the dark of December.