David Quotes

Home sales are coming down from the mountain peak, but they will level out at a high plateau - a plateau that is higher than previous peaks in the housing cycle.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

Yesterday was Chinese New Year. It's the Year of the Rabbit. And here's how dumb I am. I'm still writing the Year of the Pig on my checks.

Last night we had Bill Clinton, the former president. Security was as tight as Governor Christie's yoga pants.

President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.'

Scientists have discovered a black hole that is 12 billion times the size of our sun. It's full of Hillary Clinton emails.

Obesity is now a problem in the navy. They've created a new rank: Really Big Rear Admiral.

Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.

Mitt Romney is quite a guy. At one point he and his wife bought a zoo and fired all the animals.

Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.

Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. He gathered family and friends together and celebrated by executing a few close friends.

He opened a window in my heart, and the light of the world shined in.

Mary Keitany from Kenya won the women's race at the New York City Marathon. You can tell she was fast because guys on the street didn't even have time to finish their catcalls.

I think O.J. protests too much. Not only did he say he didn't carve the holiday turkey, but he was in the back yard practicing his golf swing the whole time.

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling ya, this guy is presidential material.

Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him.

They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.

President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.

This isn't brain surgery; it's just television.

I like Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy who comes with the picture frame.

There was a flight from Cleveland to New York City with just two people on board. There hasn't been two people on an airplane since the Wright brothers.

President Bush says he now wants to simplify the tax code. Only those in the blue states will pay.

President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation.

Two creative spirits in a relationship, I don't think that's the best way to go.

Newt Gingrich says he wants to get rid of Social Security. Who is more qualified to give this country financial advice than a guy who ran up a half-million dollar bill at Tiffany?

Night clubs scare me. They're dark and they stink and they're dangerous and everybody's drunk.

Tell me a way you think this can work." "We'll find a way," I tell her. "That's not an answer. It's a hope." "Hope's gotten us this far. Not answers.

And If only I could, I'd make a deal with God.

I don’t want to throw everything away for something uncertain.

Yes, time can be buoyed by wordlessness, but it needs to be anchored in words.

This is not something insignificant. This is real. This is happening, and this is ours.

Honestly, I'm just trying to live day to day

But death is not freedom. For a moment, it can look like freedom. But then it's death. Anything. Something. Nothing.

But you have to figure that if it’s too hard to hang on, then maybe you should let go.

I felt like I was missing something. Missing you more. Missing whatever was going to happen next.

A guy can do far far worse than surrounding himself with people who restore his faith in humanity.

I was attempting to write the story of my life. It wasn't so much about plot. It was much more about character.

Sorry to be so cynical, but this is New York

I was sixteen and equipped with the appropriate genitalia, so I cleared that hurdle nicely.

Game over," you say, and I don't know which I take more exception to-- the fact that you say its over, or the fact that you say it's a game.

love is tied to truth. I think of them as unhappily conjoined twins.

Ignorance is not bliss. Bliss is knowing the full meaning of what you have been given.

Maybe language is kind, giving us these double meanings. Maybe it's trying to teach us a lesson, that we can always be two things at once.

You leave the phone on beside you as you fall asleep. I sit in my bed and listen to your breathing, until I know you are safe, until I know you no longer need me for the night.

So what else can I tell you?" I asked. "I mean, to get you to reveal Lily to me.

I know the odds are all against me and I know you might not feel this way too but I know I would rather die trying to know if I could mean something to you

Love weaves itself from hundreds of threads.

The subject of management is man; the objective of management is the moving of man's mind and will and imagination.

Sometimes you make your mistakes with your eyes wide open.

I never expected my graduate degrees to give me all the practical how-to's that can perhaps only be learned through the school of hard knocks.