Christopher Quotes

Donald Trump is the most media savvy guy ever to sit down in the Oval Office.

I still consider Bill Clinton a friend and Donald Trump a friend. Some day in the future, President Clinton could be a big asset to President Trump in a lot of his outreach.

I don't think Trump is naïve about the Russians... I don't see him giving any chips away. Trump is a much better negotiator than Vladimir Putin. He is not going to be taken.

What world leader is considered the most controversial and everyone has a view of him? That's Putin.

Donald Trump has taken a lot of positions that are anti-establishment. Donald likes the idea that he can maybe break through. Putin obviously likes him.

The thing I've learned traveling through the United States is that the people in each city are usually awesome, it's generally the 'talking heads' that give us trouble.

If you're bullied your entire life you want to be able to just scream to the world 'well that's who I am!'

Thomas Gray walks as if he had fouled his small- clothes and looks as if he smelt it.

And now the matchless deed's achieved, Determined, Dared, and Done.

Awake before the sun is risen, I call for my pen and papers and desk.

For in my nature I quested for beauty, but God, God hath sent me to sea for pearls.

Too hard for any frog's digestion,To have his froghood call'd in question!

It i impossible to foresee the consequences of being clever, so you try to avoid it whenever you can.

Our role is to imagine products that don't exist and guide them to life.

You just plant a few seeds, cultivate the shoots, and watch your career grow and branch out. It takes time and dedication. There are no overnight success stories in the music business!

The music I actually listen to sounds nothing like my own!

I'm just trying to survive and stay relevant! That's all anyone in the music business can ask for.

As for drinks, I'm a sucker for flavored teas.

It's easy to be a one-hit wonder. It's hard to stay relevant for more than a few years.

Benadryl - the seven-dollar babysitter.

Everyone should think for themselves. I learned that in a book I bought called 'Everyone Should Think For Themselves'.

When you're born, you're pure. Unspoiled and trusting. I believed everything and everyone. Then, I met my parents!

I have been accused of sleeping with people, I hadn't met yet.

Thomas Jefferson said, The tree of liberty must be fertilized from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. Yeah and I heard that and thought, I'm out!

If you want to do something dangerous... Don't tell your girlfriend!

My father, never chooses me for anything. Unless he needs a human shield. Thirty years and all I am to him is a hunk of meat to block buck shot. Told you dad needed me. Who's the best man now?

Divorce is just about change, you know. It's God saying, You need a change. And I'm going to make it so your bank account only has change.

Life, is easy. And if yours isn't, quit whining. Oh, wait. unless you're just a head amd then, you do have it pretty rough. I don't know how you roll out of bed every morning.

My parents' divorce settlement involved a bar tab.

Denial is a powerful weapon. My dad taught me mind over matter. No matter how hurt I got, he didn't mind.

Why should I learn English? I'm never going to England. Shah, pffff, ur, doy.

The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick.

I find that Americans are all in the middle somewhere, except for the extreme nuts, and extreme nuts on both sides are the loudest. And that's why it feels like we are polarized.

And people get so weird about mental illness, you follow the rules! You don't up a heart patient on a roller coaster, you don't put a mental patient on a hunting trip with you!

Osama's dead. Why is the terror alert elevated or imminent? Why not chill? Can't I just fly, keep my shoes on and avoid X-ray-fueled testicular cancer?

My father was on the Alcoholics Anonymous wishlist. My mother was on... parole. And lithium.

We don't have home movies in my family. We have people's exhibit A.

I'm thinking of a presidential bid; currently indexing and cross-referencing everyone I've tweeted my junk to. 8x10s available.

Terrorists, oh I'm sorry, Fox News tells us it's all illegal immagration's fault but it's not their fault, it's ours.

The towers fell, and the first thing that went through my head was my dad's voice: 'Well, you brought a new life into the world, and the world's over. Nice timing, numbnuts!

Anyone look back at their high school career and just shudder at what you got away with and didn't die?

How do we help the church get their respect back? I have a plan: pedophile crucifixions.

Lady, if you laugh and you don't make a noise, you're a shaker, and it's freaking me out.

My random acts of violence weren't random. They were premeditated.

At the millennium we partied like it was 1999. And then we had a 10 year bathtub tequila hangover, man. Just hugging the metaphorical toilet on a daily basis.

If you're a racist, right now, in 2011... You just look like a retard, man.

The yearbook voted me most likely to be scraped off an onramp by a puking fireman.

Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.

Does anyone ever shudder with the crap that you pulled off and didn't die?

Sisters ruin everything. It's in their job description.