Bob Newhart Quotes

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit.

You never know when you'll come upon something and it's going to be fodder for new material.

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something you hear in your head.

I couldn't play off people that I don't personally like.

One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear.

You do a clean show and it's over and the audience have enjoyed themselves and you've enjoyed yourself, and you haven't had to resort to shock.

I don't have a show anymore. I don't have a check coming in every week. This is important to me, I got to score a million tonight or it could all be over.

I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.

Don't be silly and don't waste your time.

I've been married forty-five years. I think laughter is the secret.

A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian.

There's a lot of cynicism. Let's really enjoy Christmas, with all that's going on in the world.

The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.

I've done more than I thought I was ever going to do. I've had a very long and very satisfying career.

Women are more emotional. They do get flustered. Which is not to say that men are better than they. It's simply the way it is.

I've been a very lucky actor.

I don't have a stack of scripts...

I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.

I kind of do it in my head, then I'll try pieces of it on stage and if it looks promising, I'll put it together.

I didn't know I was cool, but I was very flattered that some of the younger comedy writers came up to talk to me at the Emmys. I found that gratifying.

The schizophrenic has no sense of humor. His world is a constantly daunting, unfriendly place.

Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history.

What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.

I think there's a little confusion between humor and 'gross' passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable, because they aren't the same thing.

Sometimes you forget you're famous. You wonder, 'Why is that person staring at me?'

If you look at Jack Benny, George Burns, or Don Rickles, they've all had long, successful marriages. So, I think there's something about laughter and the durability of a marriage.

I think that what comes through in Chicago humor is the affection. Even though you're poking fun at someone or something, there's still an affection for it.

People have told me, 'My dad passed on, but I have great memories of watching your shows with him.' It doesn't get any better than that.

All I can say about life is Oh God enjoy it!