Bill Burr Quotes

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.

When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It's always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who's logged more hours than that guy.

If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that's good for me; I'm good.

I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

It's a blue-collar city [Manchester] that's transitioning into a white collar place and people are getting priced out.

It's better to just plough ahead. And if I say something they don't get, I just make fun of myself for assuming that everybody knows everything about where I live.

The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions.

I am so pro-swine flu... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

I enjoy collaborating with other people.

Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!

I don't think people know what hygienist means.

Actually they [ Netflix] were telling us to push it further and I've never gotten a nod like that from anybody in the industry, so it's been awesome to work with them. I'm very happy where we're at.

I think it gets uncomfortable when you try to act like you didn't just tell a joke that bombed.

I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career.

Think about the amount of crap the US has done! Between slavery and the genocide of the Native Americans - if any of that had been filmed like [Adolf] Hitler, we'd never live it down.

I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

My career has been a slow burn, so waiting to do the Edinburgh Festival was a smart move. If I'd spent a month there 10-15 years ago, there's no way anyone was gonna remember me.

I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.

Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw.

And Donald Trump? That man literally has people shouting the n word at his rallies and he doesn't address it, which is astounding to me. He's a terrible person.

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.

For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

It's a whole new world as far as getting a show on the air. There's good things and bad things.

The whole city [Manchester] just a real rock music vibe. It reminded me a lot of where I'm from.

As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.

I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny.

Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups.

Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.

I have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd.

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.

Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him.

I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.

I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.

[I'm] more German than Irish.

If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

I loved the [English] countryside. I went to John Bonham's grave.

My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad.

It’s been a dream to work with Netflix because they don’t have any pressure from advertisers.

If you're away from your house for a month, by the time you come back there's someone else living in it.

I've been bumped, I've had to go up after them, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been booed. I've had people steal from me and lie to me.

Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.