You can't make a date in death's dateless night.

Bad books on writing tell you to "WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW", a solemn and totally false adage that is the reason there exist so many mediocre novels about English professors contemplating adultery.

Tonight we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.

Rationalism doesn't require "belief," only observation. The real, measurable world doesn't care what you believe.

The worst advice a young writer can get is "Write what you know." Imagination is more important than experience.

All experience is memory, and so everything you write about is from memory-unless you're writing about typing.

A good sign that an army has been around too long is that it starts getting top-heavy with officers.

Maybe war is an inevitable product of human nature. Maybe to get rid of war, we have to become something other than human.

There's no such thing as writing about the future. The future hasn't happened yet.

Doctors don’t seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.

Big money seeks out the company of its own, for purposes of reproduction.

I owe most of my wisdom to the problems I was gifted.

Intersections are crash magnets.

We [ with Andy Samberg] knew each other for the last few years, our names are similar, our looks are a little bit similar, and our backgrounds are similar. The Judaism is quite similar.

(Japanese Government believes that if you have a big laboratory with all the latest equipment and good funding it will automatically lead to creativity. It doesn't work that way.

Mathematics is as much an aspect of culture as it is a collection of algorithms.

Women are not allowed to be [complicated] in our society. We're comfortable seeing women as great mothers, and then we're comfortable seeing them as hookers, but there's no in-between.

In direct contradiciton to the American dream, God actually delights in exalting our inability.

I actually lost 90 pounds over the course of 15 months in order to save money on life insurance.

Smallness of mind is the cause of stubbornness, and we do not credit readily what is beyond our view.

I started buying records in the 80s. I listened to everything new wave, disco, funk synth-pop, rock, but in my house we were listening to bossa nova, tango, and folk.