You can’t keep messing me around like this. It’s been going on too long. I can’t take it anymore. I get sick every time you come around. Then I get sick when you leave. You’re like a disease to me.

I don't understand my feelings. I really don't. I don't understand how I could hate you so much after so much time. How, no matter how much I'd like to not hate you, I hate you even more. It grows.

The writer… begins in confusion and nothingness and writes his way into clarity.

She wouldn't come back. She hated me. She hated Nan. She hated my mom. She hated her father. She wouldn't come back here... but God, I wanted her to.

The idea of writing songs because you're depressed and you need to communicate it somehow, that isn't really true for me.

God Almighty never intended that the devil should triumph over the Church. He never intended that the saloons should walk rough-shod over Christianity.

When you have nothing to say, say nothing; a weak defense strengthens your opponent, and silence is less injurious than a bad reply.

I would say most comedians have a very cynical worldview of the way the world can work. It's almost like if you didn't, you couldn't be a comedian.

For a boy or girl, driving cars that they love is fun.

Any victory would be dear at such a price.

...it seems to us that the readers who want fiction to be like life are considerably outnumbered by those who would like life to be like fiction.

TV programmes are so bad these days, even idiots are getting rid of their idiot boxes.