You can't have a laugh track that sort of tells the audience when to laugh and, you know, it's difficult to find those moments.

I think any man over 250 pounds rollerblading is instant hilarity. There's nothing funnier than a giant, grown man rollerblading.

I like to do 'Garfield Mondays': lasagna and napping in a box.

I don't have any delusions. I don't think I would make it through Navy SEAL training.

If you wait for things to be perfect you'll just miss out on life.

As an actor it's always easier to shave or cut your hair for a role, but it's hard to put fake hair on or grow hair for a role.

Being in good physical shape is the best way to combat depression. You just have endorphins running around your body. It is the best anti-depressive that there is.

Just be comfortable with who you are.

It's really nice to have someone who's intelligent and articulate to talk to about what you're doing, because it's a big part of who we are.

I have a lot of plants and fish and a pet lizard and Venus flytraps. I have a whole ecosystem in my room, like a running waterfall and different lights and sensors set on digital timers.

You can pour melted ice cream on regular ice cream. It's like a sauce!

I can do nothing without His help. Oh, Lord, what ignorance thinking everything was wealth.

Community service has become a patch for morality. You can devote your life to community service and be a total schmuck.

Advertising teaches people not to trust their judgment. Advertising teaches people to be stupid.

The most successful men in the end are those whose success is the result of steady accretion.

We fear extremes and shy away from too much ardor in religion as if it were possible to have too much love or too much faith or too much holiness.

Whenever you come across a screw-up this big, you know the government is behind it.

I'd propose that each central-city child should have an entitlement from the state to attend any school in the metropolitan area outside his own district - with per pupil funds going with him.

And to be different is great. You don't want to be the same.

Maybe feeling of presence in my body is why I've always sought out extreme experiences; it forces me to be in a moment, to face the fact of my existing in that particular moment, in my body.

That's the main business of the poem!-to see if you can't make up a language that sets all your selves talking at once-all of them being fair to each other.