When it comes to the game of life, I figure I've played the whole course.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

While JFK had made the sale on a political level, he had not yet completed it on an emotional one.

Everyday is a gift and a very special day

Thinking is not to agree or disagree. That's voting.

Excessive gentrification destroys the biodiversity and ecosystem of a community.

Television really does offer still great parts for women, cable in particular.

I like being a strong, independent woman, and to be honest, I was never afraid to be on my own.

What governs men is the fear of truth.

When a war is won, it's the losers, not the winners, who are liberated.

The chances of running out of yarn on a project are directly related to the difficulty that you will have getting more.

Comedy is the ultimate truth. Jazz is hitting the notes that that no one else would hit, and comedy is saying words that no one else would say.