Wheat Thins? Call me when they're Wheat THICKS! Gimme that wheat!

I wanna open a Jamaican/Irish/Spanish small plate breakfast restaurant and call it Tapas the Morning to Ja.

I hate smoking sections. Unless we're talking about the movie 'The Mask' with Jim Carrey. Then the smoking section is my favorite part.

I'm very reactive, I think. I'm down to throw down with people. Online, of course. Not in person.

Death is beautiful, part of life... No, it is sad. It’s sad when anyone dies. Even though every single human dies. So it’s really not that sad.

We were made to be mirrors perfectly reflecting God's goodness, but with sin that mirror fractured and the reflection is distorted.

Does life teach us anything more, I wondered, than not to cry over all there is to cry about?

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

It is best never to have been born. But who among us has such luck? One in a million, perhaps.

The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

Even people on the liberal side are starting to worry about going off a fiscal cliff.

My theory is, if you can do comedy and you can be in a scene with someone like Brad Garrett and hold your own, you've really got a future in this business.

I arm myself with punch lines and a big old water gun.

We laugh at the efforts of the musk deer to find the source of the scent which comes from itself and despair at our efforts to find the peace which is our essence.

I remember there was someone. Someone to love. Someone to hate. And I was something. Something special. And proud of it. For a time. Then they turned on me. He turned on me. I remember . . . dying.