What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible.

The very essence of playfulness is an openness to anything that may happen, the feeling that whatever happens, it's okay... you're either free to play, or you're not.

What have the Romans ever done for us?

All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.

Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.

Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas.

A wonderful thing about true laughter is that it just destroys any kind of system of dividing people.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Creativity is not the possession of some special talent. It’s about the willingness to play.

When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger.

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.

Today the main, over-riding purpose of the European Union is different: not to win peace, but to secure prosperity.

Put your 'yes' on the table and let God put it on the map.

If venereal delight and the power of propagating the species were permitted only to the virtuous, it would make the world very good.

It is said that government is a necessary evil, but it is far more evil than it is necessary.

Heroic deeds, to use whatever dower Heaven has bestowed, to test our utmost power.

It is a strange thing to come home. While yet on the journey, you cannot at all realize how strange it will be.

Curing yourself of obsessive compulsive disorder by going to a strip club is pretty strange.

Taking constructive criticism from others is required to get to the next level.

The more riots that come out of our college campuses, the better the world for tomorrow.