To understand all is to forgive all.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

I should like to bury something precious in every place where I've been happy and then, when I'm old and ugly and miserable, I could come back and dig it up and remember.

One forgets words as one forgets names. One's vocabulary needs constant fertilizing or it will die.

I have lived carefully, sheltered myself from the cold winds, eaten moderately of what was in season, drunk fine claret, slept in my own sheets; I shall live long.

The truth is that Oxford is simply a very beautiful city in which it is convenient to segregate a certain number of the young of the nation while they are growing up.

Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth.

He was gifted with the sly, sharp instinct for self-preservation that passes for wisdom among the rich.

Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently?

Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.

Wine is a bride who brings a great dowry to the man who woos her persistently and gracefully.

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs.

Piecemeal social engineering resembles physical engineering in regarding the ends as beyond the province of technology.

If you've only had one relationship, how do you know you're good in bed?

The preaching is part of the reason I don't go to church. Plus, I don't know, it was never part of my tradition.

Society is immoral and immortal; it can afford to commit any kind of folly, and indulge in any sort of vice; it cannot be killed, and the fragments that survive can always laugh at the dead.

The Grammys used me for ratings. And they were up 18 percent!

Hillary Clinton are going to raise taxes and Donald Trump and I are going to cut them.

Life does not owe you anything, because life has already given you everything.

I think the main change is the fact there are so many women involved on the set now.

Small debts are like small shot; they are rattling on every side, and can scarcely be escaped without a wound: great debts are like cannon; of loud noise, but little danger.