There's one theory that the funnier a comic is in his act, the more mind-numbingly boring he'll be when he's not holding a microphone.

It's not that weird, but when I was in Peru, I ate a guinea pig. If you're going to eat guinea pig, you call it cuy. Cute word for such a cute little animal that I ate a few times.

Oftentimes the shows that don't work help you get it right.

Contrary to widespread belief, I do know something about science.

I like an otter. I like a sea lion. I like a walrus. That's my favorite version of a sea creature.

I'm sure there are people who say like, "I was wearing weird emo eyeliner," but there's something pretty embarrassing about the jazz phase.

I have what I guess is medically known as a farting problem.

Whether it's corporate investigations or comedy, there are certain inherent truths to trying to get what you want while trying to be a decent person doing it.

I was, like, a history major, and I minored in art and Spanish, but I found myself gravitating toward media studies as time went on.

Sometimes shows suffer from having many cooks in the kitchen.

I would be psyched to get a phone call from Al Sharpton. I need to find out who does his hair. It's beautiful. It's a gorgeous mane.

The one who can draw your widest smileis also the one who can throw youto the farthest exile

...try to tell the people of America about Dr. Gerson's merits and ...results...I wish you the best in your difficult task.

No iconoclast can possibly escape the severest criticism.

The president is always made fun of.

I am working for the time when unqualified blacks, browns and women join the unqualified men in running our government.

We were writing songs about girls when we still thought girls had cooties.

What we enjoy, not what we possess, is ours, and in labouring for the possession of many things, we lose the power to enjoy the best.

Fear is something to be moved through, not something to be turned from.

I don't know if I believe in God, but I know I believe in the devil. I have met him.

Awards for arts, where you make comparisons, don't make much sense.