The subject of criminal rehabilitation was debated recently in City Hall. It's an appropriate place for this kind of discussion because the city has always employed so many ex-cons and future cons.

It's much harder to be a liberal than a conservative. Why? Because it is easier to give someone the finger than a helping hand.

Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.

It's been my policy to view the Internet not as an 'information highway,' but as an electronic asylum filled with babbling loonies.

A Pessimist sees the glass as half empty; A Cub Fan wonders when it's gonna spill.

Newspapers, magazines and other publications have the constitutional right to be offensive, even disgusting. As evidence of that, just watch this space regularly.

Contrary to popular belief. It's much wiser to take money from the poor than the rich.

For some people, being free means being free to keep their feet on someone else's chest.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax.

God tipped the country and all the fruits and nuts rolled west.

Reagan's approach will achieve one of the basic goals of the conservative: Things remain basically the same. The rich stay rich and the poor stay poor, or even a little poorer.

Whew! You two are blowing hotter air than a tornado circlin’ a volcano in Hades.

Though most expect young men to be fools, I've noticed that just a little bit of age can make a man far more foolish than he was as a child.

There sinks the nebulous star we call the sun.

We are not going to be able to rebuild Afghanistan into a Jeffersonian democracy.

Food additives are far safer in actual use than the basic natural food themselves.

When we prohibit others from being different, we end up forfeiting our own right to Liberty.

The child from 9 to 12 interests me very much. And so, those were the years that I like to write about, when I'm writing.

Said a skunk to a tube-rose, "See how swiftly I run, while you cannot walk nor even creep." Said the tube-rose to the skunk, "Oh, most noble swift runner, please run swiftly!"

Our opponent is an alien starship packed with atomic bombs," I said. "We have a protractor.

The strength of God will enable us, a small but faithful band, to overcome the multitude of the faithless.