The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.

There's a domino effect with certain things you say.

I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.

It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.

We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.

When I wasn't as attractive as I am now, I suffered at the hands of cruel children and their taunts until I realised that confidence and a bit of aesthetic care can overcome that.

I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.

They look outside the windows of their apartment in town and realize they're not living in a terrace anymore. This is a room full of dreamers who like to go to London for a day.

You can take care of everything except chance. Chance can kill you.

You can map your life through your favorite movies, and no two people's maps will be the same.

Anything where people have to work together makes me cry.

If only I could throw away the urge to trace my patterns in your heart, I could really see you.

How would you like to have a father who keeps getting younger looking every year? Do you realize what that can do to a woman?

I have high hopes of smashing my name into history so violently that it will take a legendary form even if all books are destroyed.

I grew up with the white picket fence. My dad went to work nine to five, and he had a station wagon.

Don't defy the diagnosis, try to defy the verdict.

...In a world riven by inequity, medicine could be viewed as social justice work.

Three keys to success: read, read, read.