The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money.

Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters.

Simply stated, it is sagacious to eschew obfuscation.

Hardware works best when it matters the least.

Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank.

People do not win people fights. Lawyers do.

Motivation will almost always beat mere talent.

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm... gets eaten.

Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e. it always increases.

One of the most feared expressions in modern times is 'The computer is down.'

Law Number IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound ... Q.E.D.

As long as we desire to reach new heights, we will find the strength to climb the mountain.

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

The tears creat havoc which stays on the eyelid .

Where there's cake, there's hope. And there's always cake.

Barack Obama is the founder of ISIS. He was the most valuable player. I give him the most valuable player award. I give her, too, by the way, Hillary Clinton.

I also want to go to an Italian island and do cuisine properly with some famous Italian chef and, like, his mother.

If you would be chaste, you must be temperate.

MAN: Kick him-he'll forgive you. Flatter him-he may or may not see through you. But ignore him and he'll hate you

Therever fortune clears a way, thither our ready footsteps stray.

And why, by the way, did it take Arabs to do what people here should have done a long time ago?