The United States can tell you all about what's wrong with the British, to say nothing of the Russians.

For eleven months and maybe about twenty days each year, we concentrate upon the shortcomings of others, but for a few days at the turn of the New Year we look at our own. It is a good habit.

I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out.

Free nations with different histories, economies and a vast amount of stubborn pride will never achieve complete agreement, even when they desire the same objectives.

All nations are more tolerant of their own mistakes and weaknesses than of the mistakes and weaknesses of others.

We [journalists] tell the public which way the cat is jumping. The public will take care of the cat.

Any coalition has its troubles, as every married man knows.

Speakers are not supposed to waste time on platitudes, but the capacity of this generation for ignoring the obvious and concentrating on the negative and the obscure is immense.

I look askance at any movement which assists in making the peacemaker among nations merely a national warrior.

The statesmen still say that we should not interfere in the internal affairs of other nations and yet it is not possible any longer not to interfere, even when we do not mean to do so.

Obviously, a man's judgement cannot be better than the information on which he bases it

If you haven't caused a scene in a psych unit, it's just because you haven't been inside long enough.

The most civilized people are as near to barbarism as the most polished steel is to rust. Nations, like metals, have only a superficial brilliancy.

When speaking of love, and suffering a broken heart, the student said, 'You can't drown if you vow to never swim again.' To which the master replied, 'You will also never choke if you don't eat.'

I tried talking to Jesus, but he just put me on hold.

I'm not afraid to take on somebody or say something that somebody will find offensive because unfortunately in comedy, you can't say anything really good without offending somebody.

Indignation and determination are much more constructive emotions than shame and embarrassment. And feminism was this engine that turned one into the other.

We must beat the Gospel into peoples' heads incessantly because it's the one thing we're prone to forget.

A writer's inspiration is not just to create. He must eat three times a day.

People shouldn't expect the mass media to do investigative stories. That job belongs to the 'fringe' media.

It is as impossible to translate poetry as it is to translate music.