Success may be the ability to be happy with whatever we're stuck with.

To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.

Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by eliminating our weaknesses.

Know how and how much to tip people who expect gratuities, even in the case of poor service.

Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.

Working in an office with an array of electronic devices is like trying to get something done at home with half a dozen small children around. The calls for attention are constant.

Be able to hiccup silently, or at least without alerting neighbors to your situation. The first hiccup is an exception.

Be able to analyze statistics, which can be used to support or undercut almost any argument.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center. Intelligence is not trying.

Know the official post office abbreviations for all 50 states without having to consult a list.

There's plenty of intelligence in the world, but the courage to do things differently is in short supply.

Michael...Michael got bitten. And now he's a vampire. But he doesn't remember becoming one, and that's a big problem. So if you see him, don't, you know, hug. He bites. He doesn't mean it, though.

The secret of boring people lies in telling them everything.

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless.

Religions are so subtle, so complicated, so intelligent in many ways that they're not fit to be abandoned to the religious alone; they're for all of us.

There is no love without suffering.

Telling lies and showing off to get attention are mistakes I made that I don't want my kids to make.

I once blurted out that I found it impossible to bond with my son Winston because I was too tired. I mean how bloody awful does that sound? What a tosser!

Golf is difficult to get your personality over because you are such a bottle of concentration.

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Don't hope more than you're willing to work.