Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie. It even has the part where they say, "Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's.

You cannot give your full attention to something, and at the same time resist it.

Methods and conclusions formed by half the race only, must necessarily require revision as the other half of humanity rises into conscious responsibility.

I write lustily and humorously. It isn't calculated; it's the way I think. I've invented a writing style that expresses who I am.

Ninja Turtles taught me how to meditate. They got me into martial arts. They helped make me who I am today.

If you know how rich you are, you are not rich. But me, I am not aware of the extent of my wealth. That's how rich we are.

Great art is a regional thing. I'm not saying my art is great. I recognize what I think is great about music is often on a regional level.

It's hard to appreciate the importance of the rainforest because it seems so far away, but it's vital to the survival of the planet as we know it.

Mankind's greatest achievements are found on thank you notes, not resumes.

What's done is done. The joy is in the doing.