Somebody ripped their pants open at my wedding, dipping my mother. My mother is not a lady who throws herself into a dip that often, so I don't think he thought she was really going to do it.

As a teenager I went all Goth, but I wasn't mopey enough. I would pretend to be, but I'd end up making people laugh.

I've never felt like I needed to change. I've always thought, 'If you want somebody different, pick somebody else.'

There’s a greatness in not caring what people think

Hollywood wants to make women so perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect job. Perfect manners... I know some of the most beautiful women, and they are so weird. That's what makes them funny and captivating.

I watch HGTV like a maniac, and when it's bad, it's like some crazy college guy watching a football game.

I don't associate with people who blame the world for their problems. You are your problem. You are also your solution.

You just have to say, 'It’s pretty damn good. I am right here at the moment and I’m OK with it. I've got other things to think about.'

Even when someone gets to looking like she should be so proud of herself, instead she's like, 'I could be another three pounds less; I could be a little taller and have bigger lips.'

It's like I'm managing to achieve all this success in spite of my affliction ... Would you ever put that in the headline for a male star?

I could eat healthier, I could drink less. I should be learning another language and working out more, but I'm just always saying, 'Ah, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.'

Competition means decentralized planning by many separate persons.

A philosopher once said, 'Half of good philosophy is good grammar.'

In any really good subject, one has only to probe deep enough to come to tears.

A parent can give a child no greater gift than beautiful manners.

Expect the worst, and you won't be disappointed.

Beware the toils of war ... the mesh of the huge dragnet sweeping up the world.

After I read 'The Hunger Games,' I went out and got 'Catching Fire' the next day.

Those who desire only the good pleasure of God abide in peace even in the midst of failure, for God has not told us that He requires success of us.

The gospel of the kingdom must be preached with evidence; it must be preached as a witness.This can only be done by christians who are filled with the Holy Spirit.

God wants every local church to be the first place people think to go when they've really messed up...not the last.