Some people fake their death, I'm faking my life.

I like the construction of sentences and the juxtaposition of words-not just how they sound or what they mean, but even what they look like.

I think more than writers, the major influences on me have been European movies, jazz, and Abstract Expressionism.

We seem to believe it is possible to ward off death by following rules of good grooming.

As technology advances in complexity and scope, fear becomes more primitive.

No sense of the irony of human experience, that we are the highest form of life on earth, and yet ineffably sad because we know what no other animal knows, that we must die.

I've come to think of Europe as a hardcover book, America as the paperback version.

I don’t want your candor. I want your soul in a silver thimble.

What we are reluctant to touch often seems the very fabric of our salvation.

California deserves whatever it gets. Californians invented the concept of life-style. This alone warrants their doom.

A writer takes earnest measures to secure his solitude and then finds endless ways to squander it.

Human: That's stupid. Isn't there grass on both sides?

I do not believe that defending traditional marriage between one man and one woman excludes anybody or usurps anybody's civil rights and denies anybody their civil rights.

It doesn't matter what it looks like; it matters what it feels like.

I'm trying to strike a balance between Bollywood and Hollywood.

If we all just took a moment to be a little more thankful and kind to people, or smile at people, it could really change someone's day.

Achieve order within yourself...an inward tranquility which knows no disturbance at any moment...in the daily life of the home and the office.

And sweet and far as from a star, replied a voice which shall not cease, till drowning all the noise of war, it sings the blessed song of peace

You can write jokes at any point of the day. Jokes are not that hard to write, or they shouldn't be when it is literally your job.

I dress a little strange. I dress a little theatrically.

Melting icebergs aren't beheading Christians in the Middle East.