Society will decide after the technology is created what we will and won't accept.

The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons ... were the fatties.

I had great difficulty in school interacting with others, and I took refuge in the contrived setting of play acting, which is what I still do.

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

Every character I play has to be the hero of his own story, the way we're all heroes of our own lives.

I have an iPad and I watch three things: 'The Daily Show,' '60 Minutes,' and 'Meet the Press.'

No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

The happiest moments for me, creatively, are doing readings of a play around a table where there's no audience.

People ask me what my hobbies are in interviews, and I always say biking. But all I bike for is to get to rehearsal more quickly.

The more people say nice things about me, the more I feel it's false.

I wanted her to notice me, to pay attention to me. It was an irrational desire, one I‘d never experienced before.

All the reasons you fell in love are still there, but perhaps buried under worries and responsibility. Find them again, then hang in there. Truly, the best is yet to come.

I always lose the election in the polls, and I always win it on election day.

You know, there's something heartsick about parties like this. Look at us. We're all pretending to be smart, as if intelligence were the cure for our anguish.

Haters are my motivators

Time, space, and causality are only metaphors of knowledge, with which we explain things to ourselves.

I’m packed with broken glass and memories and it all hurts.

I'm one of those people who does a lot of things. I'm lucky. I get up and I have a lot of energy. I have a great work ethic.

Obama is a president, who I think is anti-jobs.

Never explain what you do. It speaks for itself. You only muddle it by talking about it.