Seven days without laughter makes one weak.

Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of your heart.

It is not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.

Everything I know, I write about. My only research is what I did.

I was kicked out of The Stars And Stripes twice, and finally got back in.

The people who were against the Vietnam War thought I was attacking the Army. The guys in the Army thought I was representing their experiences. I was on both sides, and I survived.

You learn just by trying and experimenting. By the time I was 14, I had my own comic strip in the Kansas City paper.

I say, if you believe what you read in the comic strips, then you believe that mice run around with little gold buttons on their red pants and drive cars.

At one time Tribune Syndicate emptied out their storeroom. They put tables full of original cartoons down in the lobby and said take one if you want one. The comics were simply a burden to them.

When I introduced a black soldier, Lt. Flap, in 1971, the Stars and Stripes banned the strip. They were having racial problems and thought it would increase the tensions.

If we have a positive mental attitude, then even when surrounded by hostility, we shall not lack inner peace.

The universe is always ecstasy and it's always perfect, but we don't perceive it that well. If we keep doing our yoga in every lifetime, we perceive it more correctly.

It’s OK to get butterfly in your stomach; the key is to learn how to make them fly in formation.

Grilling, broiling, barbecuing - whatever you want to call it - is an art, not just a matter of building a pyre and throwing on a piece of meat as a sacrifice to the gods of the stomach.

My world, my world... How can such a good little girl like you destroy all of my beautiful wickedness. - Wicket Witch of the North

The loyalty rate isn't that high. I could have a big hit, then put out the next single, and they say, Oh yeah, who are you? Prove it again.

Men long for an afterlife in which there apparently is nothing to do but delight in heaven's wonders.

I think you can love someone and be infatuated with them, too. But infatuation is immediate, while the sort of love in the West is something you build with someone. It's a trust.

To the devil with false modesty.