Seamen three! what men be ye? Gotham's three Wise Men we be. Whither in your bowl so free? To rake the moon from out the sea. The bowl goes trim. The moon doth shine, And our ballast is old wine.

There are two reasons for drinking wine...when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it... prevention is better than cure.

Clouds on clouds, in volumes driven, curtain round the vault of heaven.

The juice of the grape is the liquid quintessence of concentrated sunbeams.

The waste of plenty is the resource of scarcity.

He kept at true good humor's mark The social flow of pleasure's tide: He never made a brow look dark, Nor caused a tear, but when he died.

Marriage may often be a stormy lake, but celibacy is almost always a muddy horsepond.

The mountain sheep are sweeter, But the valley sheep are fatter. We therefore deemed it meeter To carry off the latter.

I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away.

Sir, I have quarrelled with my wife; and a man who has quarrelled with his wife is absolved from all duty to his country.

Names are changed more readily than doctrines, and doctrines more readily than ceremonies.

Kindness is not something you are born with

I never read, I just look at pictures.

I like guitars in the Fender style because they have skinny necks.

Catholicism is not a soothing religion. It's a painful religion. We're all gluttons for punishment.

In times gone by there lived a Count of Ponthieu, who loved chivalry and the pleasures of the world beyond measure, and moreover was a stout knight and a gallant gentleman

To all people of good will who are working for social justice: never tire of working for a more just world, marked by greater solidarity!

A child should always say what's true, And speak when he is spoken to, And behave mannerly at table: At least as far as he is able.

If the relationship between you and your money is harmonious, regardless of how much you have, your financial transactions will be harmonious as well.

I wish you wouldn't make the strings such an important part of your arrangements because frankly they're only a tax dodge!

Did any man at his death ever regret his conflicts with himself, his victories over appetite, his scorn of impure pleasure, or his sufferings for righteousness' sake?