Reading and writing... are exciting. The most exciting things I can think of. And now, as I reflect... I have to say that I've been lucky in that I'm amused by what I do - sufficiently amused.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

A book is much more than a delivery vehicle for its contents.

When you truly love someone, you don't want anything except giving everything you have.

Nothing is ever enough.

It is those who have a deep and real inner life who are best able to deal with the irritating details of outer life.

Few can be induced to labor exclusively for posterity - Posterity has done nothing for us

I have never in my career embarked on a journey towards controversy. I have never deliberately set a flame.

I don't think anywhere is there a symbiotic relationship between caddie and player like there is in golf.

I would be humiliated if I found out that anything I did actually became a commercial success.

What a glorious world Almighty God has given us. How thankless and ungrateful we are, and how we labor to mar his gifts.

When you see yourself as a powerful creator of your conditions, you'll see opportunities to get to your goals - and dreams - all around you.